I wrote this for myself, but since I’m bloggin’ and stuff now, I figured I share it with you too. If it helps at least one person, I guess it’ll be worth it – putting my business out in the street. Seriously though.
I have a confession to make. I’m a control freak. Not in the sense where I like to control others, but I like the feeling of being in complete control of my own life. I like to know exactly what’s going to happen at all times. Every. Single. Thing. I like to plan out every single detail and then watch everything fall into place. I want all of the pieces of my perfect little puzzle to fit, every time – and when they don’t….let’s just say I’m not a happy camper, because things are supposed to go my way.
I feel comfortable when I’m in control because I know what’s ahead of me, therefore I can relax. I feel powerful when I’m in control because I’m the one that’s making things happen. Can any of you relate to my story so far?
As you continue to live your life sooner or later you will experience a time when everything seems to fall apart. Things won’t go according to your plans. You will feel like your life is out of place and your puzzle pieces just won’t fit anymore, no matter how hard to try to jam them together. To sum it up, it’s out of control.
Whenever situations seem to be out of control, it leaves you feeling helpless and extremely frustrated. You try your best to make it the way you think it should be, but nothing seems to work. You scramble for solutions, stressing yourself out, staying up all night trying to figure it out thinking, “if I do this or that, maybe it’ll change”…but it doesn’t.
In the middle of my own out-of -control frustration, this scripture popped out at me. It was just what I needed to hear, and I hope it helps you too.
Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
Don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
He’s the one who will keep you on track.
Proverbs 3:5-6 MSG
Sometimes you can’t figure it all out, because you don’t know the whole story yet. That crazy, out-of-control feeling comes from not trusting the One who knows it all. It’s from feeling that you’re in control of it all when really, you’re not. In reality, you can’t control it all, and the pressure of trying to wears you out.
Saying you trust God is one thing, but actually doing it is another. It’s not easy, especially when it looks like you’re going down a path that you never planned on traveling. Things may appear to be completely out of order, but you could be exactly where you need to be right now. It just feels wrong at the moment because it’s so uncomfortable. Think about it, when you’re baking a cake and all of your ingredients are in the mixer being all smashed together, it looks like chaos. You could look at it and think that it’s a complete mess. Your beautiful eggs have been broken, your sugar is unrecognizable, and your flour isn’t the same consistency as it was before. It looks messy and out-of-control, until you see the end result of the process (and taste it too).
That’s how life can be sometimes. Looking and feeling like chaos, in the middle of a necessary process. If you’re like me and you’re in the middle of trying to figure everything out because it’s not going the way you planned it, relax.
Don’t try, trust.
Just breathe. Get some sleep. Enjoy your life as best as you can. Do what you can do, and leave the rest up to God, then look for Him to show up. Let go of the thought that everything has to go your own way. Like the scripture says, he’ll keep you on track. At the end you’ll understand why, but until then – just trust. We can do this, both of us.