Hey y’all. We’re still talking about friendship, and if you missed last week’s post on 7 Traits of A True Friend, be sure to check it out.
Having a true friend is such a priceless blessing that adds to our lives and makes them fuller, but beware…there are some “friendships” that aren’t good for you. Just like good friendships add to our lives, negative friendships take away from them.
We’re all human, so we make mistakes from time to time. Even the best friendships will have faults, but if it’s more negative than positive, it’s time to make a change. Here are 7 qualities of fake friends.
1. | TREATS OTHER PEOPLE BADLY
The way people treat others is a hint. If they’re treating others badly, you’re probably next.
2. | JEALOUS
“You can’t be friends with someone who wants your life.” – Oprah Winfrey
A true friend celebrates you and encourages you because she’s proud of your success. She wants the best for you and wants you to be happy. The jealous friend secretly hates you. They high-five you and like your Facebook posts but they really wish you would fail. Instead of chasing their own dreams, they want yours….and hate that you have it in the meantime.
3. | GOSSIPS
Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
Being friends with a gossiper is dangerous. If they’re talking about other people, they’re probably talking about you too; smiling in your face and stabbing you in the back at the same time. There is so much more to discuss and a friendship full of drama is no fun.
4. | TWO-FACED
Yo, this is a big one! If you’ve ever had a two-faced friend, you know exactly what I mean! As friends, we are supposed to be loyal to each other. The two-faced friend treats you differently when they get around other people, or worse – they act like they don’t know you at all. It’s like you’re friends one minute, and enemies the next. Run girl, run as fast as you can! If they can’t be your friend all the time, they don’t deserve to be your friend at all. Just sayin’.
5. | CAN’T TRUST THEM
“Don’t blame yourself for trusting them. Shame on them for taking advantage of it.”
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” – Earnest Hemingway
Friends are supposed to be there for us when we need them. We should be able to rely on them. We shouldn’t have to wonder if they’re telling us the truth, and when we share our truths with them…especially our secrets, we shouldn’t have to worry about them running and telling them to others. It’s a horrible feeling to find out you’ve been deceived and betrayed by someone who was supposed to be on your side. If you can’t trust them, how can you be friends with them?
6. | SELFISH
“Some people will only love you as much as they can use you. Their loyalty ends where the benefits stop.” – Unknown
The selfish “friend” drains you, because it’s always all about them. They take advantage of you by manipulating you, and don’t consider you because they’re always thinking of themselves. Like, they only call you when they need something. They constantly ask for favors but you can never find them when you need them. They want support but don’t give it in return. If they get sick, they expect you to visit them with chicken noodle soup and help out wherever you can, but when you get sick they don’t even call or text you. Every conversation is always about them, and they don’t even know what’s going on in your life because they never ask or take the time to really get to know you. They just want what they can get from you, and they don’t care what you have to put aside as long as they get what they want. As long as you put them first everything is great, or so it appears to be.
7. | PRESSURES YOU
True friends will allow you to be yourself. They’ll allow you to make your own decisions even if they don’t necessarily agree with them. They might get a little mad sometimes if you decide not to do something that they want you to do, but they’ll get over it.
Fake friends pressure you to do things – whether you want to or not. They make you feel like your friendship depends on following their lead, doing whatever it is that you ask them to do. They make you feel bad whenever you go against their desires for you. Like if they offer you alcohol, and you’ve already told them that you’re not going to drink and then they try to make you feel bad for not doing it by making fun of you and sometimes saying that they don’t want to hang out with you anymore. Having a pressuring “friend” is no fun, because you’re constantly being fought. It’s better to be friends with people who appreciate and respect your freedom to make your own choices.